So I've actually taken inspiration for this blog from my amazing little sister. She has a wonderful blog all about her triumph in overcoming MS. So I thought "Why not start one of my own?" Granted, my life is not nearly as inspirational as hers, but I have thoughts and days where I'm sure others could benefit from my knowledge, and possibly share theirs with me. So here we go.
A Brief Introduction
I'm Alicia. Everyone always tells me my name is pretty, but as a child I hated it. I wanted to be named something like Crystal or Claudia. But as I've grown up I've learned to like my name. I'm 34, soon to be 35 (May 28th). I currently work as a registered nurse in an outpatient mental health clinic. I worked hard to get through nursing school, and it is one of the toughest things I've ever done. I didn't think when I was in nursing school that I'd end up doing mental health, but truth be told, I actually really like my job. I feel like I make a difference when someone who is crying when they come in to my office end up leaving it laughing. I have an 11 year old son named Tristan. He is my miracle baby. I was told by numerous doctors that I would never become pregnant, much less carry a child to term. I'm so grateful every day to have him in my life. I also have an amazing boyfriend named Bryan. We haven't been together long, but I feel more and more every day that he is the one God intended for me.
Purpose of this Blog
I am a Christian. I was raised in the United Methodist Church since birth. I attended sporadically with my parents, but did get confirmed when I was 12. Church was always a painful experience for me. I just never felt connected to God, and of course as a child it was boring and tedious. As a teenager it was a source of pain and embarassment, as I was bullied often in my church youth group. Past experiences made me very wary and nervous about going to church, and in turn distanced me from God. I always thought "Why would I need to go to church when I can pray at home?" In 2013 after a very painful divorce, I found myself lost. I was lonely, feeling unloved, and like I was spinning out of control. I felt as though I could not help myself, let alone Tristan. Then I talked to a friend who ended up saving (and changing) my life. She invited me to church. The first day I stood in the aisle and cried as though my heart had been broken, because, well, it had. So began the long road to recovering my relationship with God, and in turn, remembering who I am as a child of God. In the beginning I felt so lonely and afraid, and turned to men for reassurance and acceptance, which resulted in more broken hearts and feelings of worthlessness and doubt. I stopped going to church for a while because I felt ashamed that I had let others become more important to me than God. I started going back to church regularly in December, and my life has changed in ways that I don't know I could put on this blog. I have a family now, not just my parents, brother, and son, but a true family in Christ who have loved me, cared about me, and kicked me in the butt when I needed it. I'm not where I want to be by any means, but I feel more grounded and centered than I ever have. So here are the things I have learned lately, and if these things help any of you, then I am beyond glad to have shared them.
1. Giving up control to God and submitting yourself to His will is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. But if it was easy, everyone would do it. I struggle with this daily, but I feel every day that I am inching closer to letting Him have control
2. Put NO other Gods before him. That includes men, animals, children, phones, and yes, even Facebook. When you make someone a God in your life, you give them power over you and put them on a pedestal that they can never live up to. Make God your God.
3. Remember your children. God gave us children so that we could raise a new generation to love and worship him. Show them with your actions that He is first in your life, but that they are right behind Him.
4. FORGIVE. The hardest thing to do. It's easy, when people wrong us, to seek retribution or hold grudges, or even to lash out. But if God were to handle our sin the way we handle mistakes and wrongdoing in others, we would all be lost. Forgive the inexcusable in others, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
5. Always seek his wisdom and counsel. Don't ask him for things that you know he wouldn't be okay with, and don't do them just because you can. As my pastor says "There is a difference between the perfect will of God and the permissive will of God". I also struggle with this, because there are things I want to do, or say, that I know would hurt God, but I do them anyway. And he lets me, not because he approves, but because he has granted me free will. But that does not mean he will protect us from the natural consequences of our choices. He is a father after all, and sometimes a father must spank his children or let them fall for them to learn their lesson. So go to him, learn to listen to his teaching and voice, and when all else fails, go to the Word and read what he has already taught other generations before you.
Conclusion
This is just my thoughts for the day, and a brief blurb about my life. Every posting will be something different I've learned, or thoughts I've had. They may not always be God-centered in writing, but He is always in my thoughts. Post any questions or comments freely, I will get back to you as soon as possible.
HAVE A GREAT DAY AND GOD BLESS
